How to move on after losing a parent to alcohol and drug addiction

The loss of a parent to alcohol and drug addiction can be devastating. The loss of a parent at any time is heartbreaking in itself, but for drugs or alcohol to be the cause can bring about a slew of other emotions. It makes things much more confusing and can even bring about drug or alcohol addiction in the loved ones left behind. However, there are ways to move on after losing a parent to alcohol and drug addiction. 

The Turmoil of Losing a Parent

Watching a parent suffer from drug or alcohol addiction can be confusing and disheartening. To an outsider, it seems so simple to quit. You see that addiction is ruining his life and is a danger to his health, so it should be clear that abstinence is the solution. However, to an addict this is not so easy. You may have made several attempts to help your parent with his addiction. Perhaps you have been through grief, frustration, betrayal, and dozens of shouting matches on the subject. You have been hopeful and then been let down. And through it all, you see your parent drowning in his addiction, unable to surface long enough to reach your hand. He is the person you know and love, but changed somehow--and you don’t know how to deal with it. When addiction finally takes his life, it can break your heart. Perhaps you feel like you should have done more to help him, and that you’ve let him down somehow. Maybe you are angry at him or the drugs or even some higher power that allowed this to happen. All of this is completely natural.

 

 Getting Help to Handle Grief

While it is completely normal to experience these emotions, it can make things worse if you take it out on those around you. Do not allow your loss to consume you and force you to do things you will later regret. It is only natural to want to fold up in your grief and disappear from the world, but the truth is that you will get more relief if you find ways to communicate about it. Reach out to loved ones who understand your pain. Find fond memories and remember your parent when he or she was sober. And remember that you are not responsible for his or her death, even if you feel like you should have done more. You did not place that drink in his hand or that needle in her arm. You are still alive and deserve to move on. Ultimately, that is what your parent would want.

 

Stay Sober

A surprising number of people follow in their parents’ addiction footsteps even when they watch drugs or alcohol take their lives. It is especially easy to take this route when you allow painful emotions or memories to take control and you don’t know what to do with them. If you feel the urge to drown out your despair with drugs or alcohol, it is imperative that you get help immediately. There is an abundance of people who understand what you are going through and are there to help.